


Don't You Forget Your Roots

by talesfromthewater



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Slow slow slow burn, bellamy plays hockey, hockey!bellamy, the 100 plays hockey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesfromthewater/pseuds/talesfromthewater
Summary: Following the journey that Bellamy Blake takes through his hockey career.*I do not own these characters, just the story I'm writing here.The rating may change as we move through the story, we'll see :)Currently on hiatus from this story.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	1. Like Wildfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should note that this story will take place in two timelines until they catch up with one another. 
> 
> One will be posted in italic font so anytime the whole chapter (They'll be short) is in italics, it is in the other timeline. When they catch up to one another, it will be indicated and the italics will no longer happen!

**_March 2020._ **

_There was a fresh layer of water that had just been laid and is starting to freeze and the air is as cold as it usually is. Looking out, it’s the best the place ever looks; clean, crisp, calm. Anyone that looked at it now would never know that there had been blood covering a small area in the corner not thirty minutes ago; they wouldn’t know that the place was just as quiet as it is now even with the stands full of people and the benches full of players; they’d never know that a young man was rushed to the hospital. Anyone that was there could tell you all of these things; and it’s probably all over the internet by now but if you were just standing there looking out at the serenity of the ice right now you’d never know. The current serenity was a stark contrast to the utter chaos that erupted not half an hour ago._

_Just as suspected, the news was already spreading all over the internet. It spreads faster than wildfires sometimes. Sportsnet, TSN, The Score, all have the articles posted; they’ve already garnered thousands of replies, reposts, and likes. Most of them well wishes and of course you get the people that talk a tough game as they hide behind their computers and keyboards commenting stupid things that no one should ever have to read. Especially right now. The overwhelming need to just turn the phone off to avoid the temptation of looking through all the articles, replaying the whole situation, and refraining from attacking those keyboard warriors seemed like the best option; but, how does a person turn a phone off when it’s the quickest form of vital communication?_

_Normally this was a happy place, a place where kids come to spend the day with their friends or their family. This was a place that saw championships, and even through the heartbreaking losses that it has sometimes seen there was no other feeling like being a part of the community here. There was no doubt the next few days were going to be a shitshow, even when there was nothing more that a person wanted than to hide away from the world and process in their own ways; people looked to them for guidance._

_This was a place of family. This was a place of belonging. This was a place of love and laughter._

_But now? This was also a place of unanswered questions, nightmares, and heartbreak bigger than any championship lost._


	2. Star of his Hometown Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy is in high school playing for the Arkadia Apocalypse, and is clearly the star of the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone, 
> 
> Here is the second chapter, I plan on updating weekly!
> 
> As always, thanks to A for letting me run ideas by her and giving feedback :)

**March 2009.**

At fifteen years old Bellamy Blake stood about 5 feet 7 inches tall. It wasn’t that long ago that he was a scrawny little kid, and his best friend never let him forget it. But that was the old Bellamy. The new Bellamy was taller, broader, with longer hair and bigger muscles. Currently, he was standing in the middle of the cafeteria in his high school waiting to get his lunch, and if you asked him he would definitely tell you he was NOT going over every possible situation in his head for how the next couple of weeks would go. He was also definitely NOT scratching the skin on the sides of his thumbs, or bouncing back and forth on his feet. That’s definitely not what he was doing.

“Bellamy, what are you doing?” he heard Clarke’s voice come up beside him and look at him questioningly.

“What? Nothing. Why? What are you doing?”

“You’re doing your nervous thing.”

“I don’t have a nervous thing.”

“Yes you do. What’s going on?” 

“I’m supposed to hear something from the coach.”

“Ah, that makes sense as to why your thumbs are raw.”

He rolls his eyes at her, as they grab their food choices, pay, and head to their usual table. They sit in the same spot everyday, the same table with their friends in the same seats, usually rambling on about their classes and their teachers. Clarke could tell he was off today, sitting quietly and eating his lunch so she tapped his foot with hers and let hers rest against his under the table. He looked up at her and gave a small smile that she knew said thanks. He knew she wouldn’t make him talk about it, there wasn’t much to say but he was grateful for the gesture. 

Clarke Griffin had been his best friend for almost two years now. They met in their ninth grade english class. Their teacher had to separate them for causing a ruckus when they would get into their debates about anything and everything. When Ms. Cartwig partnered them together for a report on the Shakespeare play they were doing stating, “You two might actually do great work together if you just _tried_ working together”. The project started off rough, but eventually they realized she was right (not that they’d ever actually tell her that) and they’ve been the best of friends ever since. 

She was shorter than he was, her fair skin and blonde hair in complete contrast to his olive complexion and dark curls. He was a couple inches taller than her, but she was just as tough as he was. And she was his biggest fan. She’s never missed a game, not one single game and he loved her for it. She’d sit with him after and talk about how the game went, letting him vent if he felt like he didn’t do enough and encouraging him that he did his best. She would also tell him when he could have done better or done more. She never sugar coated things for her like most people would. He valued what she said and made sure she knew it. 

She was also friends with his sister. She was a year younger than them and Clarke was always helping Octavia with her homework and being a positive influence in Octavia’s life. It wasn’t uncommon to spend every night at the Blake house after games or practices going over science, math, english, history, whatever homework they had. His and Octavia’s mom worked long hours between two different jobs making sure that her kids had everything that they needed and Clarke’s mom worked long hours at the hospital and her dad was all over the place often getting called back into the office after he’d left for the day. Perks of being the best at what you did Bellamy guessed. 

He had a little smile on his face thinking about how lucky he was to have his best friend in his life when she broke him out of his thoughts, “Game’s at 5 tonight, so I’m going to go home and get changed and get Octavia and then we’ll be here.”

He smiled, “Okay, Princess, I already told her to be ready for about 4:30.” 

“Perfect, I’ll find her after school too and just let her know. The Apocolypse need this win…” she trailed off nervously.

“I know, Coach has been telling us all week that we need to win, ‘our playoffs depend on it.’” he half rolled his eyes.

The rest of the day lolled on as Bellamy sat through his last class, one of the ones he didn’t have with Clarke. He was admittedly distracted thinking of the game tonight. Their school team was already done, having made it to the provincial championships and coming in third. They were pleased with their results. Now the Mustangs just had to win tonight's game against the Falcons. When the final bell rang he gathered his things and made his way to his locker. He grabbed his stuff and headed down to the library to do some homework before the bus was ready to take the team to their game. 

Clarke and Octavia had gotten there a couple minutes before game time, Bellamy saw them walk in from his place on the bench. They were both carrying travel mugs, Clarke’s full of tea and Octavia’s full of hot chocolate if he had to guess. He smiled at them and he saw Clarke give a smile and a small wave before heading up to their usual spot. As usual she was wearing his Arkadia Apocalypse hoodie and Octavia was hearing his t-shirt over a long-sleeved shirt; he loved it. The puck was down and the battle between the Warriors and the Apocalypse was underway.

***

No matter how many times she watched him play, Clarke was always so intrigued by Bellamy. For a fifteen year old he moved at an incredible speed while managing to maintain control of the puck the entire time. She was always blown away. She had her tripod and video camera set up, she knew the exact spot to sit to get the entire rink with the least amount of obstructions possible and still be able to make out the players on the ice. One of her favourite weekend activities was watching the footage back and listening to Bellamy’s commentary on how he thought things should have gone; what players should have been in different positions to make the most of a play.

The game went by fairly quickly, there were not a lot of whistles and the Apocalypse held a two goal lead going into the final minute of the game. Bellamy was sent on the ice for the last minute as the Warriors were pulling their goalie and Bellamy was the best defenceman in the league. The warriors had their best six players on the ice, going with four forwards and two defencemen and were coming in on a solid rush into the Apocalypse zone. Bellamy and his defensive partner Miller were used to this, Wells Jaha was forward and his size made him a good first line of defence for the Apocalypse. The Warriors made a nice passing play, their centerman skating around Jasper on the wing coming in against Miller flicking a wrist shot just to the side that Miller got his stick on and deflected it wide. It ended up on Bellamy’s stick and he shot it down the ice toward the empty net. It just missed and the ref blew the whistle for icing. With 22 seconds left on the clock that Warriors were able to get one passed Lincoln to cut the Apocalypse lead to one. Twenty-two seconds later, the final buzzer went and the Apocalypse had won 3-2. 

The two teams shook hands and headed to their respective dressing rooms. Clarke and Octavia headed down to the lobby of the rink to wait for Bellamy like they did after every game when Clarke saw him. She had been so wrapped up in the game that she hadn’t even noticed him before, she turned to Octavia, “hey, you go, I’ll be right out.”

Octavia looked at her suspiciously, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, don’t look, but over there is Mr. Sinclair.”

Octavia’s eyes went wide, “You mean, _the_ Mr. Sinclair?!”

“Yes, I want to go give him the video.”

“The one you made?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

Clarke smiled, “Thanks, O. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Octavia bounced off to the lobby, and Clarke reached into her bag, pulling out the DVD that she always carried with her. She took a deep breath and walked over to where Mr. Sinclair was standing with a notepad in his hand. She tried to calm herself down, the nerves slowly sneaking up on her, she couldn't believe he was actually here. She cleared her throat as she approached him, “Excuse me, Mr. Sinclair?”

He looked up from what he was scribbling on his notepad, “Yes?”

“Hi, sir. My name is Clarke Griffin.”

“Clarke, nice to meet you…” he seemed confused as to why she was talking to him.

“Sorry to bother you sir, I just wanted to give you this,” she held the DVD out to him.

He took it from her and looked at what was written on the front, ‘Bellamy Blake Season Highlights’, and looked back up to her, “What’s this for?”

“Well sir, I obviously know who you are, and I’m not sure if you were here for him or not, but if you were then that will just be good for reference if you need it. If you weren’t you should have been; watch that video and you’ll see why. He was number three on defence for the Apocalypse.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind Miss. Griffin. Have a good night.” 

She took that as that the conversation was over. She couldn’t get a good read on how it went but at least she tried. She looked back, “Thank you Mr. Sinclair, you have a good night too.”

With that she turned on her heel and went to meet Octavia. They were waiting an extra long time before Bellamy finally found them in the lobby. He was smiling when he found them, “you guys will never guess what just happened!”

“What Bell?” Octavia looked excited for whatever he was about to say. 

“Coach just told me that there was someone here from the Icedogs watching me tonight!”

Clarke was beaming at him, “I know, I gave him the video when I spotted him after the game!”

Bellamy’s eyes went wide, “you talked to him?”

“Briefly, I went up and told him if he was here to watch you he made a good choice, if not he should have been here to watch you. Handed him the DVD and that was it.”

Bellamy pulled her into a hug, “you’re crazy, Griffin!”

Bellamy was so excited that he couldn’t contain himself. He splurged when they got home, Bellamy was very strict about his in-season diet, but they definitely had ice cream to celebrate when they got home that night. Big things were happening and it was everything he had worked towards, maybe he could actually do it. Maybe he could go somewhere and be someone in hockey. Look out hockey world, Bellamy Blake was coming!


	3. Got It All So it Seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy and his mom get an exciting phone call regarding his play and knows just who he wants to celebrate with.
> 
> I've tried my best to make sure that this is as accurate as possible - doing research and whatnot, obviously somethings may not be 100% accurate so please let me know if there's anything!!
> 
> Sorry this is a touch later than I promised!
> 
> Also, I know this has been mostly Bellamy and Clarke - I promise everyone else is coming :)

**March 2009.**

Jacapo Sinclair had been sent to the Arkadia High vs West Polis High hockey game after having a West Polis player on his radar for a couple years now. Management had been watching this kid develop since he was about twelve. Honestly, Sinclair was unimpressed. He was a decent player on the ice, but not a team player; he had played a very selfish game. A couple of the players on the Apocalypse had caught his eye though; he’s surprised the one wasn’t on their scopes before. He’d never admit it, but the DVD he was handed by the girl at the end intrigued him, he was interested to see this kid play more and he told management as much. 

***

Clarke woke up Saturday morning to a text from her mom advising her that she was going to be at work for the rest of the day, she was called in on an emergency basis and her dad was away on business. She replayed her conversation with Mr. Sinclair from last night in her head. She stretched and climbed out of bed heading downstairs to make herself a cup of tea. She had a little bit of homework to work on this weekend but she figured that could wait; she was excited to be able to work on the drawing she had started last weekend. 

She’d been drawing for a couple hours when her phone started ringing, she smiled as she saw the Caller ID was Bellamy’s house. She picked up the phone from the dock in her room, “Hello?”

“Hey, Clarke.”

“What’s up, Bellamy?”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Just drawing, Mom got called into work and Dad’s still away on business. Why?”

“The rink has free public skating this afternoon, want to go?”

“Um…”

“What?”

“Bellamy, you know I can’t skate very well…”

“Come on, Clarke; it will be fun!”

The line was silent for a minute, “Fine. But you better not let me fall.”

“Never, Princess!” she could hear him smiling in his tone, “ I’ll see you soon, I’ve got to get changed and then I’ll head over to your house.”

“Okay, see you soon, Bellamy.”

She hung up the phone and put it back on the dock, finishing up the little section she was working on of her drawing. She closed her sketchbook and put it away in her desk drawer. She wasn’t ready for anyone to go snooping through it and seeing the drawing yet. She sat in her desk chair with her head back for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath; _how the hell do I always let Bellamy talk me into this crap._

She knows she’ll have fun skating with Bellamy, she’s just not very good at the activity. Bellamy’s been teaching her for the past couple years, and she always prefers when it’s cold enough to go out to the pond instead of having to go to the rink full of people. It’s easier when there are less people there and she’s not as embarrassed if she falls. Not to mention at the rink you get all the hockey players that fly around because they can and it makes her nervous. Bellamy is damn lucky she likes him or she’d never agree to this. 

***

Bellamy could hardly contain himself; this day had gone a completely different direction than he thought it would. He had originally sat down to work on his book report for English class, and then the phone rang with a number he didn’t recognize, “Hello?”

“Hi I’m looking for Ms. Aurora Blake?”

“Just a second.”

Bellamy went and gave the phone to his mom, she asked who it was and he just shrugged, unsure of who was on the other line, “Hello?”

“Hi, Ms. Blake?”

“Yes, may I ask who I’m speaking to?”

“Ms. Blake, my name is Marcus Kane, I’m an agent with Shallow Valley Agency. I’ve been hearing a lot of buzz about your son, Bellamy in the past couple weeks. It appears he’s made quite an impression amongst a couple of the Ontario Hockey League teams and with the draft coming up, I just wanted to reach out and offer any support you might need.”

Aurora sat there with her mouth open, her face must have registered complete shock, and something else because Bellamy’s face twisted up into immediate worry. Aurora didn’t know what to say but could feel the silence getting awkward, “I’m sorry Mr. Kane, I didn’t even…”

He must have sensed her confusion, “Ms. Blake, I understand this is an exciting time, but let me assure you -”

“Mr. Kane, you don’t understand, I didn’t even realize that this was an option.”

“Ms. Blake this is absolutely a possibility, a more than likely outcome is that your son will be taken in the later rounds of the draft, or be signed to a contract as a free agent. His skill level is exceptional and, like I’ve said, the buzz around him since the game against the Warriors has been out of the realm I’ve seen with any of the players recently.”

“What does this, how did this even happen?”

“The Icedogs had an agent at the Warriors vs. Apocalypse game to scout a Warriors player, he didn’t make an impression whereas your son did. Seems word has gotten around the OHL about him and there have been a couple more scouts at his games the past two weeks.”

“We had no idea.”

“No they’re typically inconspicuous when they’re there. I’m surprised Mr. Sinclair was recognized and spoken to at the game he was at; but he was nonetheless and now your son is the talk of the town.”

“How do I know you’re not just pulling something on me, Mr. Kane?”

“I can promise you everything I’m telling you is true, I will send you an email outlining everything or we can set up an in person meeting.” He gave Aurora his number and email for follow up, and when she hung up the phone she was grinning from ear to ear.

“What was that about, Mom?”

She filled him in on the conversation with Marcus Kane, and for a second Bellamy felt like he was going to pass out. He couldn’t believe what she was saying and wasn’t really sure he was understanding her correctly. She looked at him seriously, “What do you think?”

“Mom, I don’t know what to think, honestly. I never thought this would be an actual option for me. I mean CLarke and I always joked about it and talked about it, but - oh my god I need to call Clarke!”

Aurora chuckled at the Clarke comment, but carried on, “Honey, you’ve always been a talented player. If this is something that you think you want, we can set up a meeting. It doesn’t hurt to talk to him.”

“ What do you think, Mom?”

“Just a said a second ago,” she looked at him like he was crazy, “It doesn’t hurt to see what he has to say. Were you even listening?”

“Sorry, Mom, I just …”

“I know, Bellamy. I’ll set a meeting with him. Maybe you should talk to your coach too, see what he thinks or what he has to say.”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him at practice on Monday! I have to go call Clarke!”

Aurora laughed again, “Just go, you nerd.”

Bellamy picked up the phone, taking a deep breath, he didn’t want to sound too excited, he’d rather tell her this in person. He had an idea, and quickly dialed her number; it rang a couple times before he heard, “Hello?”

“Hey, Clarke.”

“What’s up, Bellamy?”

“What are you doing right now?”

“Just drawing, Mom got called into work and Dad’s still away on business. Why?”

“The rink has free public skating this afternoon, want to go?”

“Um…”

“What?”

“Bellamy, you know I can’t skate very well…”

“Come on, Clarke; it will be fun!”

The line was silent for a minute, he could practically hear her thinking about it, “Fine. But you better not let me fall.”

“Never, Princess!” he couldn’t contain his excitement anymore, “ I’ll see you soon, I’ve got to get changed and then I’ll head over to your house.”

“Okay, see you soon, Bellamy.” He heard the line click off as he hung up and put the phone back on the wall. He grabbed his skates, through on his favourite Capitals hoodie and flew out the door. He didn’t even grab his iPod for the walk to Clarke’s house. This was the day his life changed; no matter what happened.

***

Bellamy got to Clarke’s house faster than normal, he’s pretty sure it was because he practically ran there with excitement and knocked on her door three times bouncing on his toes as he waited for her to open the door. When it finally opened she was wearing the Capitals toque he gave her for Christmas last year with her Predators sweater and a pair of black leggings. She smiled at him as she stepped out and closed the door behind her, locking it before heading down the porch stairs. 

“Clarke, you’re breaking the cardinal rule of hockey right now.”

“What do you mean?” she looked down at her outfit, “I’m wearing a hoodie and leggings…?”

“Clarke, you’re wearing a Predators hoodie with a Capitals toque, two different teams you are _not_ supposed to do that!”

“Well, you bought me the toque and it’s my favourite, so shut up and let me live my life how I want to.” she shoved him in the shoulder as she laughed. 

They walked a couple blocks to the arena, talking about anything and everything (except for Bellamy’s news) as they went. Clarke could sense that something was a little off with him, but she didn’t bring it up. If he wanted to talk about it, he would talk about it; and she knew he would when he was ready. The parking lot at the rink was fairly empty, which was surprising for a day with free public skating. Clarke followed Bellamy through the arena to the rink three dressing room to get her skates on.

They found a spot easily in the dressing room and Clarke pulled her wooly socks and skates out of her duffle bag and got ready. Bellamy did the same, putting his skates on and tying them. She slipped her hands into her gloves and Bellamy who was already standing held his hand out for her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, dropping her hand as he turned to head towards the rink. The door was open and there were just a couple other skaters out there including a couple of the guys from his school hockey team. 

Bellamy stepped onto the ice and skated with ease. Clarke on the other hand held onto the side for dear life as she took the initial step onto the freshly flooded rink. Bellamy chuckled and skated back over to her, stopping hard in front of her and spraying her with ice as he did. She glared at him and all her heard was, “Jerk.” as her glare turned into a smirk.

“Come on, Princess, get off the wall.”

“Bellamy, you know I’m nervous at first. Let me get my bearings first.”

He held out his hand to her, “Come on, Princess, we do this every time.” he laughed thinking of the other times they’d been skating together. The first time she didn’t leave the wall, as time has gone on she gets a little more brave every time. Getting on the ice she’s always a little nervous though. She eventually reached her hand out and took his and started to skate down the length of the ice. She tripped up a couple times, feeling Bellamy’s hand tighten around hers when she did ready to catch her if she went down. 

Normally when they were skating, Bellamy was chatty and always ready to carry on conversation but when Clarke looked up at him this time he was just smiling. She giggled, “Bellamy, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Clarke, everything is great!”

“You’re not very talkative today, it seems like something is wrong and then I look up and you’re grinning like a kid in a candy store. What’s going on?”

They came to a stop in the far corner of the rink and he leaned up against the boards while she followed suit. He looked like he wanted to start talking but he didn’t know how.

“Bellamy?”

“Clarke, listen…”

Her heart sank in her chest, he’s never been like this with her and she’s not really sure where he’s going with it, “Bellamy, come on you’re scaring me.”

“Clarke, I just …” he took a deep breath, “I need to say thank you!”

“What on earth for?”

“Just being you, for always supporting me, for being my best friend. If you weren’t you, then I wouldn’t have gotten the phone call I got earlier...about all the interest in me and how there is serious talk that I might actually get drafted to the OHL.” he had gone through his whole speech looking at his feet, and when he was done, he looked up at her through his curls.

“What did you just say?” she was staring at him now.

“An agent called my mom today and said that he would be willing to sit down with me; since the game against the Warriors a lot of scouts are talking about me. They liked what they saw and a couple different teams have even come out to our games since then! He thinks I might actually get drafted or at least signed!”

She didn’t say anything, just squealed really loud and surged forward to hug him. Her arms went around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder. He could feel her tears soaking his shirt but he didn’t care. He buried his face in her hair chuckling as he did.

“Bellamy! I’m so damn proud of you!”

“I haven’t even been drafted yet, I might not even get drafted!”

“It doesn’t matter, no matter what happens you’ve worked so hard, and I’m just so proud of you!”

“Thank you, Clarke. I love you, you know that?”

“I love you too, Bellamy. And no matter what, I’ll always be your biggest fan.” she winked at him and kissed his cheek.

They skated for a little while longer talking about what NHL team Bellamy wanted to play for when he finally made it big (Capitals, obviously), the process and what happens next, and just random school stuff. All Bellamy cared about right now was revelling in sharing this exciting news with his best friend.


	4. Driving through the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is in the other timeline :)

**March 2020.**

_The drive felt longer than it should have. The music was low and there were water droplets on the windows from the rain that was coming down; street lights illuminating the car as it passed. In the distance sirens were sounding, speeding around the city; cops, ambulance, fire fighters there were sirens coming from all directions but only one mattered. Outside, as the car passed, there were people walking through the rain; friends were laughing, the bars were loud, the crowds of people gathered and dispersed like flocks of birds._

_The news had already hit the internet; it would be the talk of everything on the nightly news and then it would be everywhere. Completely unavoidable, no one can hide from it, no one can run from it, no one can change it. The worst is the speculation, the rumours that float around before anything official is said spreading false hope or sorrow to fans, and more importantly the friends and family that have to see it. No matter how often a person tells themself 'nothing is certain yet' it doesn't stop those rumours from getting into their head and spreading like wildfire. A simple hold of a button and a slide of the thumb shut the phone off to the outside world._

_A voice from the front seat broke the silence, “Not much farther now.”_

_“Thank you. Please hurry.”_

_“Don’t worry, we’re not far behind them.”_

_The minutes had passed slowly, when the car finally pulled into the parking lot. Before the vehicle was able to even come to a complete stop, the back door was open and closed and the figure was running towards the door. The nurses in the emergency room were running around treating patients and it was clear no answers would be given immediately and when that realization set in it was hard to stop the pent up emotions. The tears started flowing, the makeup started running, and the hysterics broke through the hustle and bustle of the emergency room. It was hard to say how long that emergency room floor caught the tears before one voice broke through the noise, “Clarke?”_


	5. Big Game Lights in His Eyes

**April 2009.**

April came quickly in Arkadia, the Apocalypse had just come back from their Provincial championships and Bellamy was up to his eyes in practice and assignments. He was working extra hard on all of his assignments to keep his grades as high as they could be; something he couldn’t do without Clarke’s help. He and Clarke spent every night at his house studying and working on all their assignments. When they were done that she would help him with watching game footage and going over his stats and his plays. 

He had a meeting set up with Marcus Kane for the coming Wednesday and he wasn’t sure what to expect from it. He knows that his mother had been emailing the man back and forth regarding their original conversation a couple weeks ago, but she kept it pretty secretive from him. He knew it was her protecting him, he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up either way. He didn’t really believe he could go anywhere as a hockey player; he knew he was good but he was high school and Northern Ontario rep team good. When you look at players like Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin how could he ever compare to them - it just didn’t even seem possible for him. He knew there were players in Southern Ontario that were a far superior player than him, he knew he should stop believing the pipe dream.

“Bellamy? Did you hear anything I just said?” Clarke nudged him with her shoulder.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

They were sitting on the floor of his bedroom with textbooks and papers scattered all over the place, “That’s what I thought.”

“Sorry, I’m nervous about the meeting and the draft and school. I feel like I can’t focus and my mind is running a mile a minute and I can’t keep up.”

Clarke reached over and put her hand on his shoulder, “You’re going to burn yourself out if you don’t take a step back and give yourself five minutes every once and awhile and that would be worse than you ignoring me trying to explain this science problem to you.”

“I know, I just feel like even giving myself five minutes will be detrimental, and then I think ‘why are you even getting your hopes up, you’re not going to make it anyway’ and I just, I don’t know.”

“Listen to me, no matter what happens with this stupid draft, you’re still going to be my best friend and the person I’m most proud of. You’re also going to be the guy that flunks his classes because he burned himself out and can’t concentrate anymore and then you’ll fail out of high school and then what?”

“Clarke, I think that’s a little extreme. I’m not going to fail my classes and flunk out.”

She shrugs her shoulders, “Never know.”

“Just explain the problem to me again?”

***

Bellamy was out of breath when practice ended, Coach had them skating suicides for an inhumane amount of time - or so it felt anyway. He knew they still had the ice for a little bit longer today and Coach had called practice early. They had early morning practice that day too preparing for the National Championship; morning practices were about finding the right lines and defensive partners, afternoon practices were for working on endurance and agility. 

Bellamy skated up to Lincoln before he was able to get too far, “Hey, Lincoln, do you want to stick around for a bit, I was hoping to get a few more shots in while we still have the ice.”

“Sure, man. Let me just go fill up my water bottle and I’ll be right back.”

Bellamy skated around the open ice, he loved having the entire rink to himself and just shooting on the empty net. His legs were still burning from the hard skating a couple minutes ago but it was a good burn. He saw Lincoln walking back down the tunnel from the dressing rooms, waddling along in his goalie pads. He stepped back out onto the ice and skated over to the net making sure the pegs were still in place and secure. Bellamy skated over, “Thanks for sticking around, man.”

“No problem, Bellamy, I can stay for a little bit but I have a book report to write tonight. What did you want to do here?”

“Just wanted to work on shots from different parts of the rink, I can do it on the empty net but it’s better with a goalie, obviously.”

“Sounds good, let’s do it.” With that, Lincoln pulled his mask back down and got into position. 

Bellamy gathered a couple pucks and skated over to the circle and lined up the pucks to shoot in succession. He and Lincoln went through the same process from different spots on the rink for about thirty minutes both of them ending the session out of breath and laughing. Bellamy needed a quick practice like this with no pressure but useful. He skated down to the other end and pulled the net off, putting the pegs on top and skating it over to the side for the zamboni while Lincoln did the same with the one that they were using. 

“Thanks again for staying, Lincoln.”

“No problem, anytime you want to shoot around again let me know.”

“Thanks, man, I will.”

“Bellamy, actually I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Bellamy stopped and turned to face Lincoln again, “Sure…”

“Do you think that you could put me in contact with Clarke, I need some help with some of my homework and I heard she’s top of the class.”

“Dude, we go to the same school, she’s literally my best friend and she’s at every game...why can’t you just talk to her?”

“I don’t know, I just … I guess I could have done that, eh?”

“Seriously, she doesn’t bite, but I’ll give her your number and she can text you. Cool?”

“Thanks, man, that’s awesome!”

Once he was changed he was waiting in the lobby for his mom to pick him up, he pulled out his phone and opened his text strings to Clarke, _Hey Clarke, Lincoln needs your help with some homework and asked if I could give you his number so here it is - 905-555-5555._

It took a couple minutes for her reply to come through, _No problem, I’ll text him :) Are we still studying tonight?_

 **Bellamy** : _Yeah, the library at 7?_

 **Clarke:** _Actually, do you want to just come here? I’ve already started on some homework and I don’t want to have to pack everything up._

 **Bellamy** : _Sure :) let me go home and change and shower and have dinner and I’ll be over._

 **Clarke:** _Forget dinner, let’s order a pizza :P_

 **Bellamy:** _Always after my heart, huh, Griffin?!_

 **Clarke:** _just ensuring you carb load or whatever you athletes do :P See you soon!_

***

Bellamy waited a couple more minutes for his mom to arrive, and when he heard her car turning into the parking lot he gathered his stuff and went to the curb to wait. He stuffed his equipment in the trunk and climbed into the back seat, Octavia already occupying shotgun. He still had his headphones in with his music and quickly took them out as he saw his mom was talking to him.

“Sorry Mom, what was that?”

“I asked how practice was…”

“It was good, Coach ended us early because we’re on two-a-days so Lincoln stuck around with me so I could shoot on him.”

“That’s good. He’s a good goalie, only 16 and already a giant!”

Octavia piped up from her spot, “Yeah, he’s cute too!”

“O, really?”

“What?”

Bellamy just rolled his eyes as his mom and Octavia carried on a conversation in the front seat, popping his headphones back in his ears. He most definitely did not want to hear about his sister’s crush on his goalie. No thank you.

***

“Bellamy, come on, it will be fine!”

“You don’t know that.”

“No, I don’t but I do know that the worst that will happen is that you don’t get drafted, nothing comes of it and you carry on exactly as you would have before when you didn't even know this was an option.”

“It’s crazy, because I never really saw this as an option and now that I know it might be it’s something that I want; when I don’t think I did before.”

“It makes sense. Just don’t forget about us little people when you become a big star.”

“As if that would ever happen.”

Clarke laughed, “Hey, Lincoln and I are studying tomorrow if you want to come to that too.”

“Uh, sure.”

Clarke was scribbling away a bunch of random things in her notebook on a separate page. Every time she had a thought that seemed to stray away from the homework she would flip to that page and scribble and then go back to the homework. Every time Bellamy tried to get a look at what she was writing she covered it with her arm. He looked at her confused but didn’t press the issue. They sat in silence going over all their assigned questions only talking when they were confirming answers or asking questions about the problems. 

They must have been there for about an hour when Miller came up to their table, “Hey guys, what are you doing?”

“Working through the math homework from today, what brings you here, man?”

“Some science homework to do, I keep getting distracted at home and I have to get this done, my dad keeps harping on me about my grades.”

“Ah, well you’re welcome to join us if you want?”

“You guys sure you don’t mind?”

Clarke smiled at him, “not at all!”

Miller pulled up a chair and took his books out, quickly getting started on his homework. Clarke and Bellamy carried on with their math, occasionally asking each other questions and Miller sometimes piping up to help them both. When Miller had questions the two would help him in return. Clarke was still flipping back to her random page in her notebook occasionally and Bellamy’s curiosity was officially peaked. 

The hours had passed and before they knew it the clock read almost 10:00, “wow, I didn’t realize how late it was.” came from Bellamy.

“Oh, wow, me either!” Miller said, starting to pack up his books. 

“I guess we should probably head out.” Clarke had her bag packed up already and was slinging it up on her shoulder. 

“I should call my mom, do you guys need a ride?” 

“No my dad’s coming,” Miller said at the same time that Bellamy said, “Sure that’d be great.”

Clarke walked away to call her mom, and Bellamy leaned over to to Miller, “did you see what she was scribbling on that random piece of paper?”

“No? What are you talking about?”

“She would randomly flip to a page at the back of her book and write something and then flip back. She wouldn’t let me see it.”

“Well then, and hear me out, maybe you’re not supposed to see it?”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it.”

“Why don’t you just ask her?”

“Because if she wanted me to see it she would show me.”

Miller threw his hands up in the air in exasperation and rolled his eyes at his friend, “you guys share literally everything, I’m sure she’ll tell you eventually.”

“You’re no help.”

Miller rolled his eyes again and walked away leaving Bellamy to follow behind him.

***

Wednesday came so quickly and Bellamy was pretty sure he had large sweat marks on his shirt, both under his arms and covering his back. He made a mental note to remember to bring a sweater to the meeting, no matter how warm it was. He had about an hour before he had to leave for his meeting with Marcus Kane, and he’s pretty sure he’s redefined the term ‘sweating buckets’; he’s almost positive he hasn’t even sweat this much in a game. 

His mom was picking him up between shifts at work to take him to the meeting; her boss allowed her to come in a little late so that she could go with him. She was right on time and Bellamy felt like he was going to vomit. _Get it together, this is ridiculous_. The drive felt like it took longer than it should have, they were meeting at the arena, his coach let him have the meeting room for the afternoon and was also available if needed to speak to Mr. Kane. 

He stood up when, who he guessed was, Mr. Kane walked in. The man in front of him wasn’t what he was expecting. Marcus Kane was wearing jeans and what looked like a basic tee under a sport coat, he had a beard and longer dark hair that fell just above his shoulders. Bellamy had worn his best pair of dress pants with a button shirt and tie with a jacket, basically what he wore on game days (minus the jacket) and he suddenly felt very overdressed for the occasion. 

“Bellamy, nice to finally meet you! And you must be Aurora!” he shook Bellamy’s hand and then extended his hand to Aurora to shake as well. 

“Hi Mr. Kane.” Bellamy managed to say.

“Oh, please call me Marcus.”

Aurora was the next to speak, “Thank you, Marcus. We’re excited to be here.”

“Well let’s get started then shall we?” he motioned for them to take a seat at the table. 

“So do you really think I have a chance to go to the OHL?”

“Honestly Bellamy, I do.”

“Why?”

Marcus seemed a little thrown by that so Bellamy said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound as rude as it did, I guess I just never expected this to be an option for me so it’s all a lot to take in.”

Marcus smiled, “Not to worry, Bellamy. You’ve caused quite a stir in the OHL. You weren’t even on their radar prior to a couple weeks ago and that game against the Warriors. Jacapo Sinclair was there to see Titus on the Warriors, he’s been a coveted player by a couple teams. Needless to say, you made a much bigger impression on Sinclair that Titus did. He wanted to see more, luckily he was given a video highlight reel and was able to make it out to another game during the provincial championships. I know the Icedogs are interested and the Steelheads for sure. Sinclair is a personal friend of mine, and I knew it would be a good idea to reach out. Especially since you weren’t on the radar before. I’m not here to pressure you for anything, I just want to be an ally to you and ensure that you’re getting the proper guidance on this journey.”

“Marcus, what happens if he does get drafted or gets signed after the draft?”

“Well it will really depend on the team. If he gets taken or signed by a team far away, you of course have the option to move but things are never really permanent in the league and trades happen things of that nature as you know. The alternative option would be to get him a billet family.”

Bellamy interrupted by lifting a finger to Marcus, “Sorry, what’s a billet family?”

Marcus chuckled, “A billet family is a family that lives in the area and hosts players for the OHL team in their city. They are given a weekly payment to provide for the player’s needs and they are responsible for ensuring that they get to practices and to the rink in time for the game or to leave on the bus. They are also responsible for ensuring that the player attends school and maintains good grades. They are like a second family to the player. As well as the money they receive from the team, they get season tickets to the team. Sometimes they host multiple players, but a lot of the time they will just host one at a time. I’m actually still in contact with my billet family, they were amazing through my entire journey and I still consider them a part of my extended family.”

Aurora got Marcus’ attention, “Do I pay the billet family anything, how much do I have to pay them?”

“Not at all, Aurora. It’s all paid for by the team, and it’s set up by the team. They go through an extensive screening process with their billet families, but they usually use the same couple families until that family decides not to billet anymore. My billet family continued for a couple years after I left and then moved to a different city for my billet dad’s job. They’re usually very welcoming of families too, in the sense that most of them will host the family when the family visits. If they can’t host them they help them find somewhere to stay or book them in a hotel.

“Now, I’m not holding you to anything here, you can go with any agent you want. I just wanted you to know that you have an ally in me. I’ve been there. You’re good, Bellamy. You have the skill, the grades, and the work ethic to succeed here. Just remember that.”

“What does you being my agent mean?”

“Basically, I look out for your best interests in all things relating to your contract and anything else you want. I ensure that the team treats you fairly in contract negotiations, I market you to teams and potential landing places, handle your endorsement deals, and if you choose handle your finances. You can choose a different method of managing your finances if you choose to.”

“And what do I pay you?” Aurora’s voice came through the pensive silence. 

“Currently, nothing. And because you don’t get paid as an OHL player, you won’t pay me until you start bringing in an income with your sport.”

“What if that never happens?”

“Then you don’t pay me, but I might make you buy me lunch.” Marcus laughed at his own joke, “Basically at this point I’m just here to give you advice and make sure you’re treated fairly.”

“When do you need an answer by?”

“How about this, I’ll email your mom the main information package and the contract that I would use for you and you can decide. You don’t need to decide until just before the draft.”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

“Of course! Do you have any questions for me.”

“Honestly, none that I can think of right now.” Bellamy looked down at his hands clasped together on the table, “My head is kind of spinning.”

“Well your mom has my email and my cell number. You can reach out at any time that you need to.”

“Thanks, Mr. - Marcus” he corrected himself before Marcus sent him a look.

“Anytime, Aurora, any questions?”

“Same as Bellamy, not right now. I want to read what you’re going to send before I ask anything else.”

“Alright, well I will see you guys again soon, I’m sure. I’ll send that stuff over this evening and wait to hear from you. I appreciate you both meeting with me!”

“Thank you Marcus,” Bellamy said again.

“I’m going to go have a word with your coach, I saw him floating around outside the door earlier.”

“Yeah he was here if we needed him.” 

“Have a great day you two. We’ll chat soon.” With that he was out the door and Bellamy and Aurora just waved at him. 

“Holy crap.” Bellamy said when he was gone.

“I know, darling, I know,” she rubbed his back quickly, “Come on, I have to get to work. 

He smiled at her as she directed him out the door, “Thanks for coming today, mom.”

“Anytime, my sweet boy.” she smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek.

***

Octavia was sitting on her bed when her phone lit up with a text.

 **Clarke:** Hey!

 **Octavia:** Hey, Clarke :) 

**Clarke:** What are you up to :)?

 **Octavia:** just reading a book, what are you doing? :)

 **Clarke:** I’ve just been sketching the past hour. Is Bellamy home yet?

 **Octavia:** ah, there it is :P

 **Clarke:** What do you mean :O?

 **Octavia:** Clarke, you didn’t care what I was doing, you cared if Bellamy was home :P

 **Clarke:** That is not true! You’re my best friend too, O. 

**Clarke:** But I am curious how it’s going.

 **Clarke:** I’ve been sketching a hockey stick for the past hour - it’s driving me nuts :P

 **Octavia:** He’s not home yet, but I’ll let him know you’re worried about him when he gets here ;)

 **Clarke:** I’m not worried about him! I just want to know how it’s going!

 **Octavia:** Yeah and it has nothing to do with your crush on him … nothing at all, right?!

 **Clarke** : Octavia, I have no idea what you’re talking about :O.

 **Octavia:** Clarke, I’m a year younger than you, I’m not stupid and you’re not subtle :P It’s okay, I give it my blessing ;) 

**Clarke:** Gee thanks, O, but I don’t have a crush on your brother.

 **Octavia:** whatever you say, babe :P You’re not fooling anyone ;).

 **Clarke:** Just tell him to text me when he’s home…

 **Octavia:** ;)


	6. Never Felt So Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurora reflects on her past and the circumstances that brought her here today while Bellamy and Clarke face the changes that are happening.

**April 2009.**

Aurora sat at the table in the kitchen flipping through an old photo album. She had showered, gotten ready, made herself a tea and pulled the old albums out of the buffet in the living room. The day had come and all she could do was look back on photos of her kids. She was young when she had Bellamy and Bellamy was young when his father was killed by a drunk driver on his way home from work; suddenly she was mom to a toddler having to work two jobs just to keep the lights on and food on the table. She had made some questionable choices to keep those lights on, but she’d do anything for her son. Some of those questionable choices kept food on the table and it also gave her Octavia and completed her family. 

Things weren’t always easy, there were nights that she cried herself to sleep down the hall from where her kids slept soundly. Then something magical happened, well maybe not magical but it changed her world. Someone gave her a chance. She got a steady job with a good income and optional overtime. Her boss had a son that played hockey and he offered to pass the equipment on to Bellamy if Aurora ever wanted to put him in the sport. Aurora knew hockey is an expensive sport to play; so before making any decisions she decided to take Bellamy and Octavia to their arena’s free skate day one weekend.

She sat them on the bench in the dressing room, got their skates on and tied and plopped some helmets on their head. She hadn’t skated in years but she used to be okay at it so hopefully she wasn’t terrible at it; she was nervous about taking a seven-year-old and a six-year-old, but here goes nothing. They waddled out of the dressing room, unsure of the skates on their feet and walking on the blades down the cushioned floor to the rink. Octavia, her little warrior girl, didn’t think twice before rushing out onto the ice and promptly slipping and falling to her knees. Bellamy was a little bit more hesitant, scanning the crowd already out there before taking a step. It was a wobbly one and his arms were flailing but he didn’t fall. He did a couple laps getting more and more confident after every one and eventually he and Octavia were skating hand-in-hand around the rink.

Aurora wiped a tear off her cheek as she looked at the photo of the two of them skating together from that day. Who knew that would be the day that their lives changed? She never would have thought she’d be able to put Bellamy into a sport like hockey but with the help of her boss she made it happen. She was grateful for everything he had done for her and her family, even one day when Bellamy needed a new stick and one showed up at her desk the next day. He claimed that it was accidentally cut too short and wouldn’t work for his son so he figured Bellamy could use it as a ‘back-up’ when she knew he overheard her talking about the broken stick the day before. One day she asked him why, why he would do so much for her. He simply said his mom was a single mom too that worked hard for everything they had in their life; he was in the position to lighten that for Aurora so he and his wife wanted to help. Thelonius Jaha changed her life and she would always hold a place in her heart for him and his family. 

She knows Bellamy and Wells go to school together, they had since elementary school, and now they’re both on the Varsity hockey team for the Ark High Apocalypse. She's still working full-time for Thelonius in his law firm. She does clerical stuff for him, happy with the life she’s built for her family working for Thelonius. Wells and Bellamy are friends, it’s how he met Clarke. Her family and the Jaha family have been friends since Theolonius and Clarke’s mother Abby were in college. Clarke had been Octavia’s friend first, and she’d talked about Clarke around the house constantly, but it was Wells that had introduced her to Bellamy after practice one day. Abby was picking Wells and Clarke up on her way home from the hospital and Wells introduced them while waiting in the lobby for their moms. Bellamy figured they were dating but was happy to finally be able to put a face to the name that he’d heard so often.

As time went on, Clarke started spending more and more time at his house with Octavia and all of a sudden the three of them were inseparable. When Clarke and Bellamy got to high school they had a couple classes together and ended up spending the majority of their time together working on homework or Clarke coming to watch practices and games. He knew that she missed Octavia and not seeing her every day and was thrilled when grade nine ended because that meant Octavia would be there the next year. They’d had offsetting schedules but would sometimes “go to the washroom” at the same time during class and all get together in the stairwells and chat for a couple minutes. Their flip phones being staples to their high school uniform pockets and their primary form of ‘get out of class’ texts. 

Aurora kept getting overwhelmed with emotion thinking about the ways her life had changed since she first met Bellamy’s father and the ways it would continue to change; starting with today. She’d gone out and gotten all the snacks required for a ‘movie night’ and knew that Clarke was coming over too, and that she’d likely be here for dinner. 

Another memory flooded her in that moment; Abby had sent some money over with Clarke a couple times, ‘my mom says that since I spend all my time here and eat most of my meals here it’s only fair, please don’t make me take it back to her.’ Aurora just put it all away, never spending it; her job had provided everything they needed and then some; especially when she was given more responsibility and a raise from Jaha a couple years ago. He would never admit it and she’d never ask; just work hard at her job and be thankful that these people were kind enough to support her.

*** 

The day had been a busy one, she’d cleaned and cooked and got everything ready for the night. Clarke had come over sometime in the afternoon with freshly baked cookies and a pair of hands to help her with whatever she needed. Octavia had boxing class and Bellamy had gone down to the rink with Lincoln to shoot around; his nerves were through the roof. Her and Clarke had chatted the afternoon away about what had been going on over the past couple weeks, laughing and sipping tea while they worked.

It was finally time. The day Bellamy had been waiting for; but refused to acknowledge. They knew it was here, his family was acknowledging it in a roundabout way with this ‘movie night’. Now here they were, seven o’clock on a Saturday night popcorn in hand ready to watch whatever movie Octavia picked, _Taken_ had been the choice. Aurora knew if anything happened Marcus would text her immediately. The draft wasn’t televised and players were informed immediately. In the previous week, Bellamy had officially signed the contract Marcus had sent over and Marcus Kane was officially his agent. 

Aurora had turned her phone on silent but had it sitting beside her on the loveseat, Octavia curled up in the beanbag chair she dragged out of her room and Bellamy and Clarke sat on opposite ends of the couch. None of them had seen the movie and as much as they wanted to watch it they kept looking over at Aurora instead. She knew they were doing it and at one point threatened to turn her phone off completely if they didn’t start paying attention to the movie and that staring at her wouldn’t make things happen any faster. “A watched kettle never boils!” as her grandmother used to say. 

The movie ended and Octavia was sound asleep, Bellamy was fidgeting, and Clarke was struggling to keep her eyes open. Aurora chuckled to herself, these teenagers are asleep before 9pm and here she was wide awake. She also knew that there was a very important message on her phone that she should get to. She had already told Marcus that she wouldn’t be calling him back until after their movie so he knew the call would go to voicemail and she would have to call him back. She slipped her phone into her pocket and excused herself to go to the washroom.

“Mom, do you have any messages?” Bellamy’s voice carried through the living room and Clarke’s eyes shot open quickly (Octavia didn’t even flinch).

“Bellamy, I haven’t even checked my phone. I’ll check when I’m back.” it was difficult for her to keep a straight face, knowing full well that there was a voicemail. 

Aurora went into the bathroom, gave it a minute of standing there and then flushed the toilet. She turned on the sink and then put her phone to her ear to listen to the message from Marcus. 

“ _Hi Aurora, it’s Marcus. I’ve got some news so give me a call when you get a chance. Make sure Bellamy is around. Tell him not to worry, it’s good news. I’ll be up, I know you’re watching a movie so as late as it is don’t worry about it! Talk soon!”_

Aurora shut the taps off and had to give herself a minute to breathe. She knew what that voicemail likely meant and the reality of the whole thing was setting in. She had to put on a brave face, this was her son and his dream and she had to let him do whatever he needed to do. All she could do was hope that if he was drafted, it was a team close to here and he could stay at home. She went back into the living room to find Clarke and Bellamy chatting on the couch, Octavia still sound asleep in her bean bag chair. 

“Bellamy, my sweet. Marcus called me, and he would like us to call him back.” Aurora watched Bellamy’s eyes go wide and he reached for Clarke. She grabbed his hand and he intertwined their fingers together giving her a quick squeeze, he knew he needed his best friend through this.

“Call him!”

She shook Octavia awake, “O, we’re calling Marcus, he has news!”

Octavia startled awake, “I’m up! What’s going on?”

Clarke cut in, “We’re calling Marcus, he has news for Bellamy and your mom!”

“Well hurry up then!” she was sitting upright faster than Bellamy had ever seen her move. 

Aurora dialled the number from the house phone so she could put them on speaker phone, “Marcus Kane.”

“Hi Marcus, it’s Aurora. You’re on speaker phone with me, Bellamy, Octavia, and Clarke.”

“Well hello everyone. How was the movie?”

Everyone looked at each other, so Clarke spoke, “Hi Marcus, Clarke here, it was good we watched Taken.”

“That’s good to hear, I always enjoy a good Liam Neeson movie.”

“Us too,” Aurora laughed, “your message said you had some good news for us?”

“Yes, I should have known you would want to cut right to the chase,” he chuckled, “Well I didn’t lie in the message, it is definitely good news! Bellamy, I’m happy to tell you that you were drafted in the final round by the Icedogs!”

Bellamy’s jaw dropped and he was squeezing Clarke’s hand so tightly and she was squeezing right back. When he glanced over to her he saw the tears forming in her eyes. 

“I know you’re probably all screaming and I’m on mute, so I’ll give you a few minutes!”

“No Marcus, we’re here! I think Bellamy is a little shell-shocked!” Octavia explained while Aurora was jumping up and down in her pot on the couch. 

“Sorry, Marcus, we are very excited over here!” Aurora sing-songed through the room.

“I know, it’s very exciting!” they heard through the phone, “Okay, Bellamy I think we need to discuss next steps. I’m assuming that you won’t want to relocate, Aurora, so we’ll have to get you set-up with one of the billet families we talked about in our meeting. We don’t have to go over everything now, obviously, but it is something that we will have to sort out in the coming weeks. In the meantime, celebrate, keep your grades up, and keep practicing as much as you can! I’ll send your mom a formal email with more information.”

“Thanks Marcus!” Bellamy squeezed Clarke’s hand as he said it.

“No problem!” the line went quiet for a second, “and Bellamy, Congratulations. You earned it.”

Bellamy saw Clarke quickly wipe away a tear and Octavia was beaming from her spot, “Thanks Marcus. I couldn’t have done it without everyone in this room.”

“You’re lucky Bellamy, we’ll talk soon! Have a great night everyone!”

“Bye Marcus!” Aurora said and then hung up the phone. 

The room was silent for about thirty seconds, no one wanting to be the first one to talk, and then all of a sudden it was high-pitched squeals from every corner. Octavia was jumping up and down when Aurora joined her and they raced over and tackle-hugged Bellamy where he stood in front of the couch. Clarke was giggling and laughing since they almost landed on top of her and she was tickling Bellamy the whole time. 

The night carried on, all high smiles and celebrations. Aurora took them out for ice cream at 10:30 even though it was supposed to be a school night, promising to call Bellamy and Octavia out for at least the morning. Bellamy threw a little bit of a fit at that because Marcus had literally just told him to keep his grades up, but figured only the morning couldn’t hurt. He had a great tutor after all. Aurora must have messaged Abby too because she had told Clarke that she was spending the night and would also be excused from school in the morning. 

***

It was 3:00AM and Bellamy lied awake in his room. He was so excited about how this night had gone that he couldn’t sleep and was tossing and turning like a crazy person. He threw his comforter off himself and decided to go get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. He noticed the light on downstairs, figuring he forgot to turn it off when he went to bed four freaking hours ago. He was quiet when he walked down the stairs and heard someone else in the kitchen, with the lights in the room still off. 

His eyes adjusted and he saw Clarke leaning up against the counter, “Clarke?”

She jumped up, startled and tried to wipe her face subtly, “Bellamy, what are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Is there where I’m supposed to say the stereotypical ‘I asked you first’?” she chuckled, clearly with no joy in her voice. 

“Clarke, come on. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Clearly it’s not nothing if you’re in my kitchen, alone, crying at three in the morning.”

“I was just getting water.”

“Seriously? Try again.”

“Seriously, I was just getting water.”

“Maybe so, but why are you crying?”

He saw a tear slip down her cheek that she quickly wiped away, “I’m not.”

He just stared at her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the living room. He sat down on the couch and pulled her with him so that they were facing each other, “Clarke, come on, talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

“Since when?”

“Since you were drafted into the OHL.” her eyes went wide as if she couldn’t believe what she’d just said and she quickly covered her mouth with her hands as if to try and take it back.

“What do you mean?”

She was quiet for a while before she finally spoke again, “I mean, I’m happy for you. I’m proud of you. I’m everything I am supposed to be when this happens for your best friend.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Bellamy, you’re leaving. That’s what’s wrong.” the words flew out of her mouth before she could even try to stop them. He just looked at her so she continued, “I’m so proud of you, and I know that you deserve this and that you are going to do great things. I know that in my gut, in my heart, in any damn body part you want me to give you I believe that. But I had never really realized or thought about the fact that as all these amazing things are happening for you I’m losing my best friend. I’m losing the one person that makes my days better, my favourite person to study with. And then I feel bad saying all of this because O is still here and I love her and she’s my best friend too, but still you’re my partner in crime. And you’re leaving your family too so do I even have a _right_ to be upset when you’re moving away from them too?” she was fully sobbing now as she finished her whisper rant.

Bellamy didn’t say anything, just opened his arms and pulled her into him. She buried her face in his shoulder and continued crying for an unknown amount of time. He just let her cry, softly rubbing her back as she did. “I’m sorry Bellamy,” she just kept repeating those words over and over again.

“Stop apologizing.”

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her Ark hockey sweater, “I feel horrible for being this upset when I am also so happy for you.”

“Clarke, the only thing that is going to change between us is that I’ll be a couple hours away. We can Skype and text every day, and you better come see a couple games.” he went really quiet and looked down at his hands, then back up at her through his unruly, bed-head curls, “You’ll always be my best friend, Clarke.”

“I’m just going to miss you. So much.”

“I’ll miss you too, but we still have four months before we have to even think of any of that so let’s just focus on that, okay?”

“Okay, I am proud of you, you know that right?”

“I know, you know that I couldn’t have done this without you. Your video probably had a lot to do with them having any interest in me at all.”

“Remind me to _not_ do that next time.” she laughed sadly. 

“You couldn’t help yourself.” he chuckled and pushed at her shoulder.

“You’re right.” she smiled. 

“Come on, we should go to bed.”

“Good idea.”

She went to Octavia’s room, and closed the door while Bellamy retreated to his own room and Clarke heard the door click closed. He pulled the comforter back over himself and stared at the ceiling again watching the rotations his ceiling fan was doing. _Damn, he was going to miss her_. He looked at his phone for the first time all night.

 **Octavia [3:03AM]:** Bellamy, I’m proud of you, just make sure Clarke knows how much she means to you. She went downstairs about an hour ago and hasn’t come back yet, I went down there to check on her but she said she’s okay and that she’d be back in a minute and she’s still down there. I think she’s upset you’re leaving. She was down there for a whole hour, crying by herself. 

The realization hit Bellamy like a ton of bricks. He had to find a way to make sure she knew that nothing would change beyond him being in a different city. He loved that girl and he would never do anything to jeopardize their friendship. _Is that you or your crush on her talking?_ The nagging voice in the back of his head kept asking until he finally drifted off to sleep.


	7. Left with the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally makes it to the hospital and is comforted by a friend while they wait for news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken a little bit of time to post :(  
> with all this quarantine stuff, you'd think I'd be writing non-stop but I've been lazy and unmotivated. Anyway, here it is and I'm working on the next one now!

**March 2020.**

_The voice broke her from her downward spiral and she startled at the sudden interaction. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve, the rough material of the jersey scratching at her sensitive skin. Although the room around her was busy she was focused on that one voice trying to find where it came from. She’d know that voice anywhere, it’s the voice that’s gotten her through so much in her life. Finally she found him, walking towards her. She found herself moving, getting faster with each step before she found herself running crashing into him with full force._

_He saw what was happening and braced himself before she had the chance to crash into him, knowing that the force would knock them both down if he didn’t prepare for it. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as he felt her tears soaking his t-shirt. If you’d asked him ten years ago if he would be the one here comforting Clarke Griffin, he’d have laughed at you. If you’d asked Clarke ten years ago if he would be the one here comforting you, she’d have told you where to go. He had to admit he didn’t know what the outcome of all this would be, and it would be the most difficult thing their friendship would have ever gone through._

_He knew how much this was hurting her. He knew how hard these past couple years had been on her and how hard she’s worked to get where she is now. Where they were now; both the two of them, as well as her and the one person she thought she could never live without. He was rubbing her back with both of his hands, when her sob broke through the noise in the room and it went instantly silent all eyes turned to where they were standing. He knew she didn’t care, but he pulled her into a different area and just let her cry._

_How do you tell someone that their person might not make it? He’s never been good at the emotional stuff, he and his friends were never the emotional type. They didn’t talk about their feelings. He never really had someone care about him until she came around; her and her heart of gold. Then he met his girlfriend and they all became friends. There were two women in his life he would go to the end of the earth for and one of them was currently facing probably the second hardest thing she would ever have to face. Damnit. It wasn’t fair._

_Her sobs seemed to be slowing down, her breathing evening out and she finally pulled and looked him right in the eyes, “he’s not going to die.”_

_“Clarke, I really hope not. But I saw what happened, I’ve done my job long enough to know that it’s probably critical.”_

_“Critical doesn’t mean fatal.” her voice was sharp and her face was hard._

_“I know, I just mean -”_

_“No, Murphy, he’s not going to die.”_

_“Okay, I hope you’re right.” and he pulled her back into his side as he walked her to the waiting room to wait for news from the doctor. They had just sat down when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID, “It’s Emori, I’m going to take it outside.” She just nodded and he kissed the top of her head before he left. He walked out the door leaving Clarke there with nothing but the darkness and a room full of people she didn’t know._


	8. So Wild, So Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake takes Clarke, Octavia, and Bellamy away for the weekend. Clarke makes a decision to tell Bellamy how she really feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I promise the next one won't take as long to update.
> 
> I'm trying to keep myself motivated through the quarantine but it's easy to fall into the habit of just watching tv and movies. 
> 
> I promise I'll do better <3

**Summer 2009.**

Clarke was happy that school was finally out at the same time she was wrestling with her feelings of devastation. There was only a month and a half before Bellamy left and every day that it got closer the pit in her stomach grew bigger. She was working away on his going away present trying to make sure it was perfect in time for when he left; but she was seriously doubting that it would be ready. The weather hadn’t been that great so far this summer so she’d been spending a lot of time at home drawing; hoping for the sunny days so her, Bellamy, and Octavia can do some of the stuff they do every summer. 

A couple weeks later the weather started to get better and Clarke was happy because she managed to use her time inside to finish Bellamy’s gift. She was just finishing up the drawing on the card she made to go with his gift when there was a knock at her bedroom door. 

“Come in!”

Her dad poked his head in, “Hey honey, you got a second?”

“Of course, Dad, what’s up?”

“Well it’s supposed to be nice this weekend, how do you feel about taking a trip down to Canada’s Wonderland?”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, why not? I’ve already called Aurora and she’s said Bellamy and Octavia can come too.”

Clarke’s eyes lit up even more, “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Mom has to work, so it will just be the four of us, but I think you’re right, I haven’t been there since I was a kid.”

“When are we going?”

“Well, we’ll leave on Friday and we’ll come home on Sunday, but we’ll go to the park on Saturday.”

“Awesome, thanks Dad!”

“You’re welcome, honey. I know you’re upset about Bellamy leaving, so at least this will be a fun weekend away.”

Clarke just smiled, probably wider than she had in weeks. She packed her bags as soon as her dad left her room, texting Octavia the entire time. For the first time since the night he was drafted, it felt normal again. She didn’t think about the fact that he would be leaving, she didn’t worry about their relationship changing, she didn’t worry about him falling in love with someone while he was gone, she was just excited. 

She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, albeit Octavia saw right through her, but she was head over heels for her best friend. She tried to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but it was useless. It had snuck up on her and knocked her off her feet, leaving her with questions and a ticking clock. She was struggling with whether she should tell him how she feels or not. Wells kept telling her that she should, he was sick of her moping and talking his ear off about it when they were hanging out - basically when she wasn’t with the Blake siblings she was with Wells. She was pretty sure they’d teamed up against her. Even Lincoln was telling her that she should say something; clearly she was hiding it well. Not. Everyone except Bellamy seemed to know about it.

_ Damnit. _

She shook her head, nope, she definitely wasn’t about to fall down that rabbit hole today. She was going to be excited about this weekend and that’s it. She knew Bellamy had the weekend off from work, he’d been lucky enough to get a summer job that was Monday-Friday and he’d be done soon. Her and Wells were meeting him and Octavia and they were going to walk down to get ice cream. She called Wells while she was finishing her packing, it took a couple rings but he answered here.

“Hello?”

“Hey Wells.”

“What’s up, Griffin?”

“Want to come over and swim before we meet Bellamy and O?”

“Sure, I can head over in...I don’ know, ten minutes?”

“Awesome, see you then!”

True to his word Wells was there in about fifteen minutes; ten minutes after their call and the five minute walk from his house to hers. Five minutes after that they were in the pool, splashing around like little kids again. That’s what she loved about Wells. He’s been a part of her life since she can remember and their bond runs so deep; he’s the sibling she never had. Her mom’s always told her that his parents brought him to the hospital the day she was born. 

Her parents and Wells’ parents always split school duty since they all had crazy work schedules. She spent every day after school growing up at each other’s houses until a parent could pick them up. They’d had countless sleepovers, staying up late and watching all the movies that their parents told them they weren’t allowed to watch, eating junk food until they felt like they were going to puke, and sometimes laughing so loud they woke up their parents. She was thankful that Wells was still there, even though Bellamy was leaving; she’d always have Wells.

Abby stepped out onto the patio and came up to the railing overlooking the pool, “Hi Clarke, Hey Wells.”

“Hey Mom!”

“Hey Gator!” Wells called from the diving board, before cannonballing into the pool splashing Clarke in the process.

Abby laughed as she shook her head at that, “Wells are you staying for dinner?” she called when he resurfaced. 

“If that’s okay, ma’am.”

“First of all, you know better than to pull that ma’am stuff with me. Second of all, when is there not enough for you to stay? Geez it’s been almost sixteen years, you should know better by now.” she rolled her eyes in fake annoyance and went back inside. 

“I can’t believe you still call her ‘Gator’, she’d literally murder anyone else for calling her that.”

“Blame my dad for saying it in front of a young, impressionable child. It’s not my fault it stuck.”

“You know it wasn’t your dad, you just couldn’t say her name when you were a kid and for some reason defaulted to Abigator. I don’t even know how you got that from her name, but whatever.” she laughed and splashed water in his face.

“Shut up, it’s not my fault everyone thought it was adorable and no one stopped me. She said it herself I’ve been here for sixteen years almost, I can’t stop now. It’d be weird.” he splashed her back resulting in an all out splashing fight until Abby came out and told them dinner would be ready in five minutes. 

***

Friday came quickly and Clarke knew she finished work an hour earlier than Bellamy, so she walked home and made sure she had everything she needed. She sat down at her desk and started drafting a letter, she’d eventually make it prettier, right now she just wanted to get the words out. 

_ Dear Bellamy,  _

_ I hope you know how proud I am of you. I know I’ve told you that a lot since all of this happened, but I feel it’s important to tell you that all the time. I’m really going to miss you when you leave, I don’t think it’s really hit me yet that you’re actually going to be gone; but at the same time I think it has. I know that probably doesn’t make sense. I know you’re going to go do great things there, the way you always do. I just hope things don’t change between us. I know they’re bound to but I hope we can maintain some semblance of normal. You’re my best friend, but you’re also so much more than that. I think in some ways you know that, but I had to tell you before you left.  _

_ I hope you like your gift, I worked really hard on it and have been planning it for a long time.  _

_ Stay who you are Bellamy, because I love who you are.  _

_ Love Always,  _

_ Clarke  _

She wrestled with whether she should put it with his gift, ultimately deciding that yes she should; and if she gave herself the opportunity to make it prettier like she told herself she would she knew she would talk herself out of doing it. She tucked it into an envelope and wrote Bellamy’s name on the front in a calligraphy style that she had been practicing and decorated the rest of the front with little hockey doodles. There was a little CD pocket at the back of the book she had used for Bellamy’s present and she put the envelope in the pocket and wrapped the whole book in a big box. 

Jake knocked on her door, poking his head in to let her know that it was almost time to go. She nodded, and grabbed her bags off her bed following him downstairs. She made sure to grab the book she was reading and her iPod for the car ride knowing full well that Bellamy and Jake would be talking in the front and Octavia would be asleep five minutes in. 

They made their way to the Blake residence and got their bags in the car and they were off. They pulled in for the classic coffee stop before hitting the road. Jake grabbed a coffee, Clarke got a cappuccino, Octavia got an Iced Cappuccino, and Bellamy opted for a Peppermint tea; and then they were off. Clarke knew the drive was going to take a couple of hours, as predicted Octavia downed her drink and was out cold minutes after. Bellamy and Jake were talking about something in the front and she had her headphones in. She texted with Wells a little bit about his plans for the weekend and read her book. 

They got there and got checked into the hotel, Jake ordered a pizza for them and after they ate Clarke, Octavia, and Bellamy headed down to the pool. Octavia was snickering at Clarke when Bellamy took his t-shirt off, Clarke was clearly distracted by Bellamy. Of course she’d seen him shirtless before, he came swimming all the time, but … well … nope, it always rendered her a tad speechless at first. Octavia was definitely going to have a field day with that this weekend. Clarke shook her head and got in the pool, Bellamy and Octavia following her lead. They spent the rest of the night until the pool closed going back and forth from there to the hot tub.

***

The next day they were up early and off to the park. Clarke hadn’t been there in years, and she knew Bellamy and Octavia had never been there so she was excited for the day. Jake got them the photo pass and the fast pass for all the big roller coasters and they were off through the park. Clarke loved roller coasters she couldn’t wait to get to the big ones; especially when the newest one just opened last year. 

“Clarke, can we start with something a little smaller first?” Octavia asked when she saw the one Clarke wanted to go on. 

Clarke smiled at Octavia, “Sure!” They went down the path to a different roller coaster. Octavia took a minute to watch it go and then agreed that it would be okay to start on. This one your feet dangled when you were on it and it went down hills and through loops. They got in line, Octavia opting to sit beside her brother and Clarke to sit beside Jake. Octavia screamed the entire time, but when they got off the ride she was laughing.

“That was amazing!” she practically screamed, “Let’s go on the big one!”

Clarke grabbed her hand and they headed to the new roller coaster, getting in line with their fast passes. This was much scarier than the one that they just went on but Octavia was living on adrenaline and super excited to try it. She decided to sit beside Clarke this time and they were both screaming and laughing the entire time. They laughed even harder when they saw the photo that was snapped on the roller coaster. 

After the first time on the new roller coaster, they spent the rest of the day riding all the roller coasters in the park multiple times. They took turns sitting with each other and getting all their photos after. Octavia took off down to the one area to play a game, Jake following after her, and Clarke and Bellamy trailed along slowly behind them

“Thanks for bringing us here with you, Clarke.” 

“Thanks for coming with us, Bellamy.” she smiled at him.

“What else do you want to do today?”

“I definitely want to get to the waterpark at some point, and ride the roller coasters again!”

“Too bad it wasn’t October.”

“Yeah, when we’re older we’ll have to come back for Halloween Haunt!” 

“Definitely!”

“Want to go on this one while they’re playing the game?” Clarke pointed at a funny looking roller coaster.

Bellamy shrugged, “Sure, we haven’t done this one yet.”

Clarke pulled her phone out and sent her dad a text,  _ Me and Bellamy are going on the Fly! _

They got in line, chatting while they waited until it was their turn. Bellamy waved Clarke into the cart first, and she climbed in, Bellamy climbing in beside her. The cart started climbing the first hill, and as soon as they reached the top Clarke felt Bellamy grab her hand. She startled at that and looked over at him and he had his eyes clenched shut. How had she not noticed him doing that on the other ones? The cart went over the hill and down the short drop as she felt her stomach leap at the movement. The cart went up the next hill and started winding around the sharp turns in the tracks, Bellamy had his eyes open now, but he was still holding Clarke’s hand. She had turned her hand over and he laced their fingers together. Every time the cart took a turn he would squeeze it a little tighter.

“I see why they call this one the fly!” he said and she just laughed at him, the roller coaster zipped around the corners making you feel like you were going to fall out at every turn (similar to how a fly would maneuvre). She was still shocked by the hands and couldn’t bring herself to speak. He let go as soon as the ride was over, and for the rest of the day it was the same. Every time they were on a ride together he would grip her hand and let go as soon as the ride was over. If she was being honest she didn’t want to sit beside her dad or Octavia again, revelling in the way his hand felt holding hers. 

She laughed at him when he got drenched as they walked by one of the water rides, Octavia laughed at her when she spotted their hands in one of their pictures, and Jake laughed at all of them when he suggested doing the bungee ball and watching all their terrified reactions. Their day went on full of laughs, screams, food, memories, and photos. Clarke couldn’t think of a better way to spend a day with her dad and two of her closest friends. This was perfect. 

***

They returned home the next day and after their day yesterday, Clarke was anxious to give Bellamy his going away present. Sure he wasn’t leaving yet, but she was pretty sure he had some sort of feelings beyond friendship for her and she didn’t want to waste any more time. She’d asked if he wanted to go for a walk down the trail after dinner on Sunday and he’d agreed. The trail wasn’t far from her house, and there was a little rock spot that they would usually stop and sit at. She put the wrapped gift in her backpack and headed out for the trailer, texting Bellamy that she was leaving. 

He met her there carrying a smoothie for her, his own in his hand. He smiled when he saw her, “What, didn’t get enough of me yesterday?”

She smiled back, “Never; you know that.” and she gave him a shove with her shoulder before accepting her smoothie. 

Clarke was nervous, she didn’t know how Bellamy would react and she was really tempted to reach out and hold his hand. She would be horrified if she did and he pulled away and it ruined everything. The last thing she wanted was for things to be weird between them before he leaves. With that in mind she started doubting whether or not she should give him his gift now; what if he hated it? What if it did change everything? Damnit. 

“You okay?” He looked over at her.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Why?”

“You’re just barely speaking, that’s not like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Woah, not to be offended, just that usually when we’re on this trail we’re talking to each other, you look like you’re having some sort of internal debate right now.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just, if you want to talk about it…” he left the sentence hanging, but really, that was the last thing Clarke wanted. Not that she could tell him that.

“Everything’s fine, Bellamy,” they came up to the rock area and she followed him over to where they normally sit, “I was just debating if I wanted to give you this now or not.” she pulled the package out of her backpack.

“Looks like you decided to give it to me now, or are you just teasing me?” he laughed.

“I guess I am, it’s a going away present.” she smiled shyly and handed it to him.

“Clarke, I’m not leaving yet.”

“I know, but after yesterday it just felt like a good time to give it to you.”

“I can open it later if you want.”

“No, you can open it now.” she said with authority and a smile. 

He pulled the blue wrapping paper off in pieces, handing them to her as he did. She stuffed them in her bag to throw out later, same with the box when he handed it to her. He stared down at the book in his hands and looked up at her as he opened it to the first page. In calligraphy was written ‘Bellamy Blake, hockey star on the rise.’ with doodles similar to the ones that she put on the envelope in the back. It was a scrapbook and each page was a hand drawn photo of him playing hockey. Most of them were on the big moments of his career so far. 

He revelled over them, taking several moments to look at each, “Clarke this is amazing.” she could hear his voice was shaky as he said it, and he had tears in his eyes when he looked up at her.

“I used pictures I took as reference, all the games that were important games.”

He came to the end of the book, where the drawings were of him and Octavia, him and his mom, the three of them, and then one of him and Clarke together. Lastly there was one that she must have dreamed up, of his name showing up at the OHL draft when he was drafted. He didn’t notice that there was a letter in the pocket, and Clarke wouldn’t tell him until later, she didn’t want him reading it while she was around. 

He wiped away a tear that fell when he looked up at her again, “Clarke, I- I don’t know what to say, this is amazing.” he reached over and pulled her in for a hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly as she did her hands flat against his back. She felt her shirt get damp in a spot on her shoulder, and she pulled back to see his face, brushing his cheek with hers as she did. She didn’t get back far enough to see his face before she felt his lips press against hers. It was slow and sweet and she kissed him back when she got her bearings. His hand came up to cup her face as he deepened the kiss holding her tight against him. He pulled back after a moment and pulled her in for another hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Everyone!
> 
> I've made a twitter for this account as well. If you wanted to find me there it's: @talesfromwater :)


	9. So Wild, So Free 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy learns who his billet family will be and his journey officially begins when he leaves his hometown behind; not before saying goodbye to those most important to him.

The August sun was beaming through the window in Blake's living room. Bellamy was having a hard time believing that it was already August and his time in his small hometown was coming to an end quicker than he expected it to. His mother had called him from work that morning, informing him that Marcus had phoned and suggested that Bellamy check his email. He sat down at the computer and opened the message at the top of his inbox.

_ Dear Mr. Blake, _

_ I hope your summer is treating you well. I am reaching out to you as the Manager of Player Relations for the Icedogs. I’m pleased to let you know that we have paired you with your billet family for your time here this upcoming season.  _

_ You’ve been paired with the Pike family this year. The Pike’s have been a billet family for us for many seasons now. They also have another player living with them as well. I’ve included their information as an attachment to this email. They also have your information and I suspect that they will be reaching out to you as well in the coming days. We know you’re in great hands with them and they’ll be happy to help with anything you need, especially through the difficult transitional period.  _

_ If you have any questions, please let me know. _

_ Best Regards, _

_ Sylvie Martin _

_ Manager of Player Relations _

Bellamy sat there and read the email a second time, wondering in great detail what the Pike family is like. He knew he only had a couple of weeks until he left and that was weighing on him as the time drew closer. He had begun packing some of his clothes, but he wasn’t supposed to take much so all he’d really packed were his dress clothes. He went up to his room and sat down on his bed before grabbing the book that Clarke made him and flipping through it. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d done this since she gave it to him. 

He flipped through the pages, again marvelling at the amount of detail in the drawings she’d done for him. For only fifteen she was incredibly talented, not that he was surprised, she was talented in everything she did. He let his fingers glide gently over the drawings as he was taken back to the moment that each one represented. The championships, one of his game winning goals, one of him sitting in the penalty box, and many more; all the special moments of his career so far. His favourite one that she did was definitely the one that she thought of through her imagination of the draft, he could look at it all day. 

He knew they needed to talk about what had happened after she gave it to him. They had carried on that day not mentioning it, and Clarke had a permanent blush to her cheeks the rest of the afternoon. He remembered how cute she looked when she was blushing; but she hadn’t said anything about it. Maybe he misjudged and she didn’t want anything more than friendship from him but didn’t want to ruin their friendship but rejecting him. Crap, had that kiss messed everything up? It didn’t seem like it; they still hung out and spoke every day, things seemed normal.

She was his best friend in the world and he was already nervous about going away, he couldn’t do anything to risk losing her friendship. He couldn’t imagine not having her in his life in some capacity while he was gone. Nope, not even a little bit; nor did he even want to. No matter what he wanted to happen between them he could not risk their friendship. Who would he call after his games? Who would tell him when he played awful or what he should have done differently? Besides his mom and Octavia, who did he care about? Only Clarke.

He pulled his Apocalypse home jersey out of his closet and laid it on his bed. Normally the school didn’t let them keep their jerseys, but they had paid for their own through fundraising this year so they were allowed to keep them. He sat at his desk and pulled out his notebook and a pen and began writing.

_ Clarke,  _

_ I’m very sorry I acted so impulsively after you gave me your gift. I shouldn’t have done that and I can’t apologize enough.  _

_ I want you to know how much your gift means to me. No one has ever done something so personal for me. You’re my best friend, Clarke, and having you on my side means everything to me. I know you’re worried about things changing but I promise we’ll keep things as normal as possible.  _

_ I want you to have this, it’s the jersey that changed everything for me. It’s only fitting for you to have it. Don’t worry, I’ve had Mom wash it a couple times since our last game. There is a condition though: you have to promise me that you’ll come down to see at least one game this season. It’s going to be weird enough not seeing you and O in the crowd during the games. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this but it always calms me down when I see you there. Any time I was nervous I’d find you and feel better.  _

_ Thanks for always being there.  _

_ See you soon, Princess. _

_ Bellamy _

He signed the letter and folded it inside the jersey and went down to the basement to find a bag to put it in. Octavia must have heard him and followed him down there to see what he was doing. He found a bag and she cursed him out for not making it look nice with tissue paper and what not. He was always surprised by how creative she could be with her words. She took over and made it look nice for him.

“When do you plan on giving that to her?”

“I’m not sure yet.” he shrugged his shoulders as he spoke. 

“Just…” she hesitated as she thought about what to say next, “be careful.” With that she handed him the gift bag and retreated back up the stairs.

“What does that even mean, O?” but she ignored him. 

Bellamy’s mind started racing. Did Octavia know about his feelings for Clarke? He thought he hid them relatively well. Did Clarke tell Octavia about their kiss? If she had, it must have been something negative for Octavia to tell him to be careful with Clarke; she didn’t want him to get hurt when Clarke rejected him. Did Octavia think that he was giving Clarke the jersey because of his feelings.  _ You are in a way you idiot. _ He shook his head and went back to his room with his mind moving a mile a minute.

***

Octavia had retreated back to her room after helping Bellamy with his disastrous wrapping skills, if you could even call them skills at all. She didn’t know if she could last not telling Bellamy about Clarke’s feelings and she’d almost slipped when he showed her the jersey. She was hesitant of how Clarke might feel about getting the jersey. She didn’t want her best friend getting hurt because her brother was a clueless idiot that was trying to be sweet.

She went back downstairs after she heard Bellamy’s bedroom door close and sat down at the computer. She signed into her Instant Messenger to see who was online, noticing that Clarke’s status showed she was. She clicked on Clarke and it brought up the message screen.

**Octavia:** Hey!

**Clarke:** Hey :) 

**Octavia:** What’s up?

**Clarke:** Not much, just got home from work. You?

**Octavia:** nm, just helped Bell with something.

**Clarke:** Cool! Do you work tomorrow?

**Octavia:** no, I’m off till Monday.

**Clarke:** Want to sleep over tonight?

**Octavia:** def! I’ll ask mom & let u know asap!

**Clarke:** perfect! text me though, Wells is coming over for a bit, so I’ve got to go :P 

**Octavia:** Will do! cya later :) 

**Clarke:** :)

Octavia spent a couple more minutes chatting with some friends and scrolling through Facebook. She was one of the rare ones that still missed MySpace. It got boring in about five minutes, so she signed off with a sigh and went back to her room to call her mom. She opened her door and stopped as she saw that Bellamy had laid his away jersey out on her bed with a note.

_ O,  _

_ You and Clarke are at every game. It’s only right that you get this one.  _

_ Thanks for always having my back.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Bellamy  _

_ P.S. obviously don’t tell Clarke about her jersey please :) _

Octavia left the note on the jersey and burst into Bellamy’s room, startling him and causing him to drop the book he was reading. He stood up as she crashed into her brother with a bone crushing hug.  _ Damn she was going to miss him. _ She’s grown up at the rink with Bellamy and now she had no idea if she’d even be able to watch his games. She felt him tighten his hug and then he pulled away, “I’m going to miss you, O.”

“I love you, big brother.”

“Promise me you’ll come visit? I’ll convince mom to bring you down or let you come on your own somehow.” he smiled at her. 

“You better!” she laughed, “I’ve actually gotta go call Mom, Clarke asked me to stay over tonight. Did you need to talk to her when I do?”

“Cool, no I’m good.”

“Yeah. Now figure out when you’re giving her that jersey.”

She turned to leave, “Hey!” he called out and she stopped and turned around. 

“Yeah?”

“What did you mean earlier, when you told me to be careful?”

“Nothing.” she said quickly, and Bellamy frowned at her, letting her know that he knew that was extremely untrue. 

She rolled her eyes, “I just meant…when there are feelings involved it’s a tricky thing. So just be careful.” and then she turned and left. 

He flopped down on his bed with a sigh and covered his face with his pillow. 

***

Wells was still at Clarke’s when Octavia got there. They were in the pool and called to her to come in, so she quickly changed and jumped in. They were goofing around and splashing and doing stupid jumps off the diving board, judging each other’s jumps olympic style. Octavia wasn’t sure if Wells was staying the night, sometimes he did and sometimes he didn’t. She was kind of hoping he was so she didn’t spill about the jersey.

Much to her misfortune, Wells left as soon as they got out of the pool. _Son of a_ _bitch_. Clarke’s house was a good size, much bigger than most of the other house’s in the city. Clarke never boasted about it, quite often wanting to spend time at her other friends’ houses. She was excited now though, Octavia could tell. Clarke grabbed her arm when they were finished drying off and changing.

“Come on, I’ve gotta show you!”

“Show me what?”

“My dad’s renovated a room in the basement and it’s so cool!”

Octavia followed Clarke through the house and down the stairs to the basement. Clarke told her to close her eyes when they got to the door. Octavia did as she was asked and heard the door click open and then Clarke was pulling her forward. She took a couple steps uneasy with having her eyes closed, until they finally stopped. 

“Okay, open your eyes!” Octavia could hear the excitement in her friend’s voice and she slowly opened her eyes.

There was a huge blank wall, painted bright white. She turned around and looked at the rest of the room taking in exactly what it is. There were eight giant theatre chairs; two on either side and an aisle in between them and then the same on a level higher. She saw a projector set up behind the chairs connected to a DVD player. She sat in one of the chairs and it was so comfortable and big enough that she could curl up and sleep in it if she really wanted to. Clarke was watching her take in the room, and she remembered when she saw it for the first time. Jake never told her what he was doing in there, just that he was renovating it.

“What do you think?”

“It’s incredible!”

“Right?! Dad surprised me and Mom with it. She’d always wanted one apparently. Plus I think he feels bad that Bellamy’s leaving and I’ve been kind of moping about the last couple weeks. So what do you think? Movie night?”

“Yes! Want to walk to the store and get snacks?”

“Absolutely!”

They walked to the store not far from Clarke’s house, loading up on all sorts of unhealthy candy and treats for their movie night. Babbling on about what they thought the next school year would bring for them, ignoring Bellamy leaving shaped elephant between them. Clarke was dying to tell Octavia about what had happened at the park when she gave Bellamy the book, she was sure Bellamy hadn’t told her since Octavia would have freaked out and bugged her about it right away. 

They took a shortcut through the park, walking between the trees and past the playground. There was a giant rock that sat at the entrance to the park closer to Clarke’s house and she put the bag of treats down and sat jumped up onto the rock. Octavia stopped and sat down beside her on a smaller rock. Clarke thought she worked up the courage until she went to speak and then the words were gone. So there they sat in silence, taking in the sights of the park, the sounds of children playing completely carefree. 

They finally made it back to Clarke’s house, she popped the popcorn while Octavia went up and picked out some movies for them to watch. They took their snacks and movies down, and Clarke pulled some big cozy blankets out for them to wrap themselves up in while they watched. Their first movie was The Dark Knight, then Wall-E, and then finally Iron Man. When the final movie ended, Clarke was curled up in the chair and readjusted herself so she was facing the chair Octavia was sitting in. 

“Hey O?”

“Yeah?” Clarke could tell that Octavia was fighting sleep.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Always.”

“Okay, but I need you to promise not to freak out.”

“You saying that is freaking me out.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Fine. Bellamy and I kissed.” 

She’d never seen Octavia move faster than she did in that moment, “Excuse me?!”

“I told you not to freak out!”

Octavia just sat there wide-eyed for a minute, “I’m not freaking out. I am kind of pissed that he didn’t tell me, when did this happen?”

“When I gave him his going away present a couple weeks ago.”

“You gave him his going away present already?”

“Yeah, the day we got back from Canada’s Wonderland. He didn’t tell you?”

Octavia just shook her head and Clarke pulled her blanket up closer to her face burying it in the softness and trying to keep the tears that sprang to her eyes from falling.

“Clarke, I’m sure he wanted to tell me.”

“If he wanted to he would have, besides I wrote a letter telling him how I feel and tucked it in the back; he hasn’t said anything about that or the kiss. I’m guessing that he doesn’t want to risk our friendship with a rejection so he’s just going to ignore it until he leaves?”

“I don’t think that’s true, maybe he’s just trying to figure out the right time to talk to you?”

“I doubt it. Whatever, it’s fine. I will get over it and we can go back to being friends - or not going back since I guess that’s still where we are, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, and we’ll have to go visit him when he’s playing this season, gotta wear the jersey to a game!”

“What jersey?”

Octavia’s hand flew up to her mouth and her eyes went wide, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“What jersey?”

Octavia took a deep breath and closed her eyes, “Bell gave me his high school jersey today.”

“Oh. Well that makes sense, you’re his sister!” 

“You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset? You’re his sister, it only makes sense for you to get his other jersey!” Clarke smiled at her friend.

They went to bed and Clarke felt a couple tears fall and hit her pillow. She knew that kiss would be a mistake when she went for it. He went along with it and it seemed mutually initiated but clearly he was repulsed by it after giving it more thought. She regrets ever putting that letter in the book, she regrets ever doing anything about her stupid feelings. She didn’t want anything more to change between them and here she was being the cause of more change. Not anymore - they’re going back to how they were before.

***

Clarke pulled herself back from Bellamy, he kept trying to get her to hangout, and they did a couple times. He told her about how he’s been in contact with the billet family he was paired with. They had Skyped and emailed back and forth about what Bellamy should bring and what he needs compared to what they have for him. He seemed excited about getting paired with them, and told her a couple times how he was nervous to move away. She reassured him that everything would be okay. 

They didn’t talk about the letter she wrote him or the kiss, and he was acting weird around her. She worked hard to bury her feelings for him and try to keep things normal between them, especially now that the day was here. He was leaving. She woke up earlier than planned to a loud boom of thunder and rain hitting her window hard. She laid there for a minute keeping the tears at bay before getting up and getting in the shower. 

She put her music on loudly and cried. She was happy for Bellamy, she really was, but there was a little part of her that wished he kind of sucked at hockey. She knew she didn’t really mean that because he deserved this more than anyone,  _ damn all these conflicting feelings.  _ She finished her shower and got herself ready; she knew Aurora took the day off work and they were leaving around noon. Jake promised to drop her off at the Blake house when he left for work and Aurora would drop her off at home when they left. 

Bellamy and Octavia were awake and getting everything ready at the front door. There wasn’t a lot but seeing it sitting at the door was a little heart-wrenching. She went up to Bellamy’s room and knocked lightly on his open door. He turned to see who it was and smiled when he saw her waving her in. He was getting the last of his clothes in a suitcase, and Clarke saw a couple books in there too. 

“Do you want to come with us?”

“To drop you off?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want me to?”

“I do.”

“Then, yes, I’ll come with you. Will your mom be okay with it?”

“I already asked her-she rolled her eyes at me basically saying I didn’t even need to ask because of course it was okay.”

Clarke laughed at that, “I can’t believe this day is here already.”

“You and me both.” it was his turn to chuckle now. 

She sat down on his bed and laid back, sitting in silence as he moved about the room. The morning moved faster than Clarke could have ever imagined it would. Bellamy was ready and together they loaded the car up and hit the road. Aurora programmed the GPS and Bellamy let Octavia sit shotgun. The trip took longer than expected as they hit some traffic coming through the Toronto area, but they still made it in decent time and met the Pike family at their home. 

Charles Pike met them outside, he was solidly built with a wide smile. His wife Rose followed closely behind him, extending her arms immediately to pull Bellamy into a hug. They went through formal introductions with everyone and then unloaded the car into Bellamy’s new room. Charles suggested they all go for dinner before they headed home and they agreed. 

Dinner was good, very loud with everyone talking to each other. The restaurant was good and they got to see a little bit of the downtown near the arena. They decided to leave right from the restaurant and Clarke was not ready to say goodbye. Aurora and Octavia went first, saying their goodbyes to Bellamy and getting wrapped up in a family hug that Bellamy also pulled Clarke into. Once they all let go, he pulled her over away from the rest of them, then held up a finger and went back to get something out of the front seat of his mom’s car. 

He walked over towards her with a gift bag, and handed it to her, “I kind of expected to give this to you sooner but it didn’t really seem right.” 

“Bellamy, what is this?” she pulled the tissue paper out of the bag and looked inside, Bellamy saw her eyes get watery as she processed the gift. She grabbed the note inside and read it before she pulled the rest out.

_ Clarke, _

_ Thank you for always being there, for being my number one fan, and for always being the calming factor I need at my games. I know I can always count on you. _

_ Promise me you’ll wear this when you come see a game. Even if you don’t wear it, promise me you’ll come visit and come to a game. I promise Mom’s washed it at least twice since our last game.  _

_ See you soon, Princess. _

_ Love,  _

_ Bellamy _

Bellamy watched as she read the letter, knowing that her reaction would have been even more emotional if he’d gone with the original letter he’d written. He wrote a new one after he deemed the original far too vulnerable and worried that it would change things. Clarke wiped the tears from her cheek as she pulled the jersey out of the bag and held it up. She slipped it over her head and put her arms out to her side as if to say “ta-da!”

“Beautiful!” Bellamy said as he smiled.

“Bellamy, I love you, you know that right?”

“Of course Clarke, you know I love you too, right?”

“Of course.” he smiled and he was happy that it was getting dark or she’d see that the tips of his ears were turning pink.

She pulled him into a hug, her memory throwing her back to what happened the last time she hugged him like this. When they pulled back she kissed him on the cheek and after that he gave her a kiss on the cheek as well. 

“You better not forget about me, Blake.”

“Impossible, Princess.” and he kissed her on the cheek again as she pulled him into another hug, not wanting to let him go yet. 

She was trying to remember the feeling of him holding her tightly when he just hugged her in that parking lot as she watched the Pike car pull out of the parking lot carrying Bellamy farther away from her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! We're going to start taking more time jumps moving forward from here. 
> 
> I've made a twitter if anyone would like to find me on there: @talesfromwater
> 
> <3


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